Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Do i really have these diseases/ ocd question?

Ive had ocd as far as i can remember, which is about i think 3rd grade? Im currently 17 years old and i ALWAYS think somethings wrong with me. Whether its my looks, health, grades, life. On and off i worry about this way more than any teenager ever should. Over the past 6 years especially ive been thinking i have diseases. For 2 months during 7th grade i thought i had testicular cancer. WHICH I DID NOT AND GOT IT CHECKED TO. Then i thought i had other cancers. Then i thought i had tuberculosis. Then in 8th grade i kept compulsively checking if my hearing was okay and whether i was going blind or not. I did lose some vision but it was like 1.5 and 0.75. Barely anything to worry about since everyone has glasses these days. Ive passed every hearing test my whole life with flying colors but sometimes i occasionally have to ask people to speak up because they arent talking loud enough. Im sure my hearing is fine too as ive taken several tests to distinguish background noises and passed. But recently ive been super ocd and hypochondriac about my hearing and every song i listen to on my cell phone. I keep comparing whether my left ear or right ear sounds louder and clearer. Today my right ear sounds louder, but just as little as a year okay my left ear sounds louder. My parents are sick of me constantly worrying about my health so i cant go to an ent. But i know i have ocd guaranteed. Do u really think i have hearing loss? I passed every test for hearing and can hear fine. But i keep finding slight distinctions between my left and right ear. Please help me im going insane. I worry about things WAY too much. I used to worry that my nose was ugly, and then my nose was too fat, and then i have bags under my eyes. And then my teeth are ugly, and then my body is gross. Like NONSTOP. And then i worried about college and then about EVERYTHING. Please help me, is my hearing really different in one ear or am i imagining these things and thinking it is different to please my horrible ocd thoughts to continue. My parents dont believe in psychiatrists so im on my own with this whole ocd thing. Thanks

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